Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I don't know if the rain will ever end. I find myself waking up at night to make sure that the pump in my basement is working. If I don't hear it, I obsess until I drag myself out of bed to see about it.

I moved the Actors Co-op office on Monday. Its funny to go back into all the files, all the things tucked carefully into binders, all the photos and show posters. Mostly it made me smile. Sometimes it made me sad and sometimes it would remind me of folks that I'm glad moved away. Everything is in my house now. All the costumes, props, sets, lights and all of the office. It's somewhat comforting to have these things so close. I threw away the records of the phone bills dating from 1998. I threw them away like a burden, like an unnecessary past. I threw away other stuff too. I threw away four 33 gallon trash bags of things I thought I needed or wanted just last year.

I am so tired of moving. I moved out of a house I loved in 2007. I moved out of the Black Box Theatre, our old office and out of the rental house into a house I bought in 2008. I moved all Actors Co-op storage and the office in 2009. I don't think there's much left I can move. I can't actually think of anything but as soon as I say there's nothing left for me to move, something will creep out from under the bed and demand to be moved somewhere unexplainable.

I want to be bored. I want to have everything so organized and clean that I am bored. I would like to actually look for something to do.

I don't know if the rain will ever end. I am so tired of moving.

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